STOP!

Stop? Did I just tell you to stop? Haha yes. Just for a few minutes though. I want you to read this post. It was written for me, by me to keep myself motivated.

My TYBCOM exams ended last week and I found myself worrying about my future. I wondered and I still wonder about what my next step should be. A job perhaps? Or a course? Or masters degree? Or CA? Endless possibilities.

Since I couldn’t put down my foot on one thing, I decided that I needed to introspect. I had days to think about life. These remaining days of April are now “Me-Days” for me. And while I did analyse myself, I realised a lot of stuff about myself that was… How do I put it? Not so confident.

And this is where I said to myself: STOP!
● Stop being scared.
We are scared by so many things. But you know what? We’ll make it. First days of kindergarten; we probably cried and threw a fit or something. But we made it. High school; Where people tend to find faults in everything? Or when you’re the new student in the class and you know no one? Ah ha, made it. And the most recent one in my life: My first ever GDPI. It was scheduled right after I applied to that college. I was so nervous, all I did was google ‘How to crack interviews’ instead of studying for my exams. And you know what? I totally enjoyed that gdpi. I know there were some things I probably shouldn’t have said or should have acted in a different manner. But I did crack it. And that feeling… totally amazing! Being scared is natural and inevitable but think… right after you go through whatever scared you, you will gain some confidence and experience and that is what you should look forward to.

●Stop being a victim.
In my childhood days we were a group of friends. And I don’t know what happened but everyone stopped talking to me. I went home with tears in my eyes. I complained to my mom about it. I thought about it all the time. Though after a few weeks we became friends again(that train is totally off the tracks now as in we don’t talk anymore). My point here is, when this sort of stuff happens to you, you tend to think ‘This is my fault’, ‘I am not nice’ etc etc. Don’t do that. Learn from it. This is like an opportunity for you to make yourself stronger and less vulnerable. So the people at work boycott you? Let them. You’re a strong, independent person. Don’t put yourself down. Keep on developing yourself. Isn’t it true that some people dislike you because you have those qualities they don’t? ☺

●Stop thinking that you don’t matter.
You matter to your family, friends and those people who matter to you. My mother knows when something is wrong and she’ll talk it out with me.
Try not talking to your best friend for few weeks. She’ll definitely barge into your house with blazing guns and ask you, “Who needs to be shot?” Lol, okay they won’t do something that drastic but they’d definitely ask you what’s wrong and help you.
And if a person does not care about you? You respect them and they don’t? Maybe you could try to find out if you did something wrong. But if you didn’t, then (this might sound juvenile) you need to stop caring about them too. Really, why should we waste our time thinking about shitty people when we have so many other things to do in life?

●Stop thinking about your confidence.
Sometimes I crib about how I don’t look so confident. But confidence comes with experience and experience comes when you do things that scare you. So yeah, go out. Go to a theatre and watch a movie alone. Go to a restaurant alone. Write a story and post it without worrying about grammar. And sometimes faking confidence works too. Fake it till you make it. Do an internship. Do everything.

And some other things that I have in my STOP! List-
●Stop being lazy
●Stop thinking bad about your body/face/figure. (Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.)
●Stop being negative
●Stop over analysing everything and anything.
●(Specially for me)Stop thinking about what others will think about you. (I tend to think about it in real negative way. Strangers’ opinions matter only when you have given them the option to give you feedbacks.)

Well, these are some of my STOP things. Thanks for stopping by. 😆
And do comment. I care about grammar and english way too much.
See ya!

-Priyanka

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Friendship

Okay, this post is not about friendship in general. This post is about what exactly friendship is to me.

I am basically a weird person. And no this is not me being all insecure and crap. I just am. Weird. I don’t have a lot of friends now; though in the past I had a lot of friends (some fake others just acquaintance). In those times, I never understood the difference between acquaintances and friends, knowing and recognising and understanding and communicating.

After all the friendship disasters that I faced in my childhood (the parents fighting; ‘friends’ bitching behind your back and acting friendly in your face; real quarrelling, groups splitting, cursing and teasing others) I understood.

Acquaintance is when you recognise someone and say hi hello and talk to. To know someone actually means you know that person (Different from recognise) Recognise is when you know the person’s name and blah blah but not him/her as a person. Communicating, that’s a little complicated. You talk to everyone; friends, strangers anyone. But that also matters; you don’t have those meaningful talks with your acquaintances; you don’t tell them about your life. You just talk. And with your friends you do a lot more: communicate your feelings.

Ah,That felt good! Finally writing down those things. 😀

Anyway, I recognise many, am acquainted with many but my ‘Friends’ (and those include #BFF #FriendsForever) are pretty few. I can literally count them on my fingers.

These friends that I have, they really are the best. [Shoutout to my friends out there. You know who I am talking about now ;)] Yeah they can be pretty annoying, but they mean well. Recently two of them called me up, telling me all the good reasons why I need to go to the college farewell and stuff. I am still not sure about that, but they really mean well and don’t want me to ‘regret’ as put by my friend so eloquently. Apart from my parents who know, recognise, communicate and understand me, these are the friends who I know care for me. Even though I might be annoying and stubborn and crazy at times, they accept me as I am; while I am pretty sure many wouldn’t.

And that is my last point: A friend is also someone who accepts you and will never belittle you or judge you for your faults. And you in return accept them.

Thanks to those who I count as my friends. You make my life awesome. I hope I make your life awesome too. Cheers to this bond called ‘Friendship’.

Priyanka.

Zayn <3

Someone recently asked me why girls liked Zayn Malik so much. Yeah, I’m also one of those girls who ‘love’ Zayn. So I pondered over that question for like quite a while.

Why do I even like Zayn? We’ve never met nor we will in future. But I know my teenage crush won’t just fade away and also that I’ll remember him even when he grows old and has white hair and faded tattoos.

I’ve followed One Direction since their first music video came out. I couldn’t even remember who was who, I probably just liked them because they are so cute and popular and stuff. My friend liked Harry Styles, so I kinda decided to like Zayn Malik (So we wouldn’t fight you know…)

He has that “bad boy” image; with tattoos (Don’t that attract attention of girls these days?), his beard way too attractive, his eyes glowing with that intensity (I am not a stalker I assure you), his voice (the thing I love the most). Though I hated him when he left One Direction to relax or whatever and he ended up with a brand new album ‘Mine of mine’. That was a real smart move actually. He finally did what he wanted to do, sing the songs he wanted to. And yeah his voice is much suited to R&B than those Pop songs he sung with 1D (Or maybe it’s my love for him talking here haha) He has a personality that just attracts the attention of girls I guess.

The reason why I like Zayn is just because. Teenage crush is a little difficult to explain. Maybe it’s irrational to like a guy you don’t even know, but when aren’t people irrational?

That’s it. My reasons for liking Zayn.

[Oh and Zayn if you do end up reading this (I know you won’t, that’s my inner child crush talking) I really am one of your biggest fans!! Aaahhh]

~Pk

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