Dear Mummy, Happy Freedom

Dear Mummy,

I’ve never done a “Dear Mom” letter before, and I think this day is apt for it, don’t you? 😉

The bells ring and all the students eagerly pack their bags, filing into lines, ready to get out of school and do some mischief. It’s just another day for them.

You look at your kids, all of them smiling at you, wishing you all the best wishes, some tearing up at you leaving, some telling you to be in touch, some giving you their handwritten letters.

After the students leave, you look at the empty room, the walls surrounded by charts, the blackboard with the attendance and the timetable written on it, the wooden desks, and the window facing the ground.

You suddenly feel a certain emptiness, a little overwhelmed, that the thing you did for around 40 years of your life is a chapter that you’re going to close.

After snapshotting the picture in your mind, you move out, walking down the corridor, the emptiness a little jarring now, the finality settling in.

You reach the staff room and see all the teachers bustling about, wrapping up their log books and worksheets, planning up their activities for the next day, and just doing all those teacher things. Some even prepare to take their work home.

You look at the books on your desk, and now you feel a little unburdened. Knowing you won’t be taking work home anymore. Knowing that now you finally have the time to rest, put your foot up, and devour all those Kdramas that you’ve added to your watchlist.

The teachers around you cheer and celebrate. They have hosted a little bye-bye event for you. And soon, it’s time to go home.

You meet me, surprised to see me take a leave from work to celebrate the start of your freedom. Of course, I wouldn’t miss the day. I don’t have anything grand planned but let’s go out, do some window shopping, maybe watch a movie, hog on junk food and come back home.

If there’s one person I know deserving of all the lights, butterflies, and flowers, it’s you. Knowing you, the struggles you have faced, and the toxicity you have endured, I want you to have the most peaceful retired life, with less work (because I think you’ll be bored sitting at home), and no tension.

Most of your actions and goals are driven around me having the best of everything and never facing any darkness you did. I am grateful all the same, but, there are some life lessons you have to learn, and cannot be hidden from. And I hope you never beat yourself up for it.

Thank you for always putting me first and making me the priority in your life. Obviously, I am a super spoiled brat because of it, but don’t think I take any of that for granted.

You’ve asked me this a couple of times, ‘Piyyu, do you ever get jealous of the kids I teach?’ (And I have no idea why my friends sometimes ask me the same thing. Isn’t jealousy a petty thing?)

And my answer is still the same: No.

You have touched so many children’s lives. I have seen the collection of those handwritten letters, the way the kids love you, I remember a few years back when your older school batch threw a reunion party and invited you, the love and affection people shower on you.

It’s so magical. The way, like sunlight, you threw a little light their way. You are a part of their building blocks. And I’ve always been proud to be known as Sudha miss’ daughter.

You are still a little naive, which is not a bad thing, but that leaves a way for people to take advantage of your kindness. You’ve struggled a lot (I have seen it), but I am in awe of the way you have retained that light, that you have never let the dark beat down all the good things, and that’s what I’ve learned from you.

To be strong, to pursue happiness, to prioritize myself, my health, and my mental strength, above all things – even money. You’ve never stopped me from doing things, even if you thought it wrong, which made me believe that you have this trust in me I will never betray.

Oh, and another thing I want to thank you for – your genes 😛

You brought books into my life, ensuring that I can still dream and find a little piece of fictional happiness in this dreadful reality. Obviously, from you, I’ve gotten a flair for writing. Although most of it is dark shit, it’s still good shit LOL.

It’s obvious to anyone who knows my family, that I’ve gotten some parts of you in me, that somehow balances out the little bit of my emotionally stunted genes.

You are the coolest mummy. I can still not believe we started watching Game of Thrones together (And I was so shocked when… well, you know what happened. And I was waiting for you to be so scandalized!!), and I am surprised that it’s you who watched the entire thing, and I stopped it midway hahaha.

I love our talks, the gossips, the constructive criticism you give whenever I share my dark poems (thank you for never judging me). You are the complete package – the best mom, sister, brother, best friend.

Now that you’ll be at home in the mornings, I cannot wait to listen to Taylor Swift everyday, talk crap about people we loathe, talk good things about people we love, and order McDonald’s alternate days if I’m working from home 😛

Well, wrapping up this long letter, I wish you a very happy birthday, and a very happy relaxing retirement.

I wanted to write a nice little handwritten letter, but I can never make anything concise.

I hope you like this post 🙂

Your spoiled daughter,

Bokko.